How to Walk into a Room is a courageous, kind, and pastoral book which helps readers navigate the inevitable beginnings and endings in our lives. Emily P Freeman has written very generously, sharing deeply from her own life as an example of what it looks like to discern whether to stay or to go, and her vulnerability opens the door for the reader to follow and do the same. This is a book that should be read slowly and carefully, perhaps in the company of a few trusted friends, and different chapters will resonate differently at different times and seasons, according to the need.
The most impactful chapter for me in this first reading was chapter seven, Peace or Avoidance. It articulated my struggle with discerning whether or not the peace I feel when keeping silent is because I was supposed to keep silent or because I am avoiding a hard conversation or a hard decision. I am going to have to let this chapter marinate and settle some, and I think it will help me in future conflicts.
Reading this book is like having a spiritual director come alongside you to ask good questions and then giving you plenty of space and grace to answer. And you will also see the grace and kindness of Jesus Christ as a thread throughout the whole book, signposts pointing to the love of God.
As a pastor, I feel better equipped to listen well and to be more generous and kind with people who arrive at different decisions and destinations from my own. No one has fully arrived, we are all works in progress, and we are all wrestling with big and beautiful decisions beneath the surface.
Lastly I will say that Emily's writing cadence and style is extremely comforting and invitational, which is incredibly helpful when engaging with beginnings and endings that are often painful.

As sort of a continuation of her last book, The Next Right Thing, Emily leads us toward an expanse: less about what to do in the next ten minutes or hour or week, and more about large-scale, life-changing decision-making. Centered on trusting your intuition and your power of discernment (with or without a higher power), there are lists of thoughtful questions to consider. One of those that stuck with me the most is, a 'flag' is not necessarily red or green automatically. Instead, start out with a 'yellow flag' and see it as a caution sign to re-evaluate your situation, not an instant red.
Emily shares vulnerable, tangible stories from her own life with her own difficult decisions, and the nuanced way she describes these specific shifts in her life aid in expressing the universal concepts highlighted in the rest of the book.
As I was reading, what had the biggest impact on me was reflecting on past relationship choices that weren't necessarily mine to make - more like I was forced out of the room of friendship by the other people.
Emily's framework describing how to reflect on past decisions and how to employ that reflection in making future ones is a wise, helpful, discerning, and profound perspective. Instead of relying on one-size-fits-all answers, she encourages us to trust in ourselves. We already have the answer, we already have a 'spiritual personality' and 'inner compass' and core values (and she helps us unveil these personal facets), it just may take some time, a long time, but it's worth it. This book reassures us that it's okay to take that time, to linger on thresholds and in hallways, to reveal the rooms that align with our true authentic selves.

This book and Emily's words within it made me feel as though I was sitting down with a trusted friend over a cup of coffee; the kind who listens well and reminds you of things that are true. And after walking away, without all problems solved or all questions answered, but with the sense that I am known and that I'm not alone. It is the kindest of companions when facing changes, endings, and beginnings. And I look forward to reading it again, slowly, and sitting with the questions she asks to help shed light on the things that we already know deep within, but may need to sit with a little longer to see clearly as we discern how to move forward.

I have highlighted so many sentences. I think this is a book I will come back to over and over again when I have decisions to make about leaving or entering a room. There are lots of good reflection questions. Even if you have walked out of or into rooms without thinking much about it, this book will also help you process any emotions or thoughts you might not have considered if it was the right thing to do.